Tag Archive | help meet

So, What Is a Help Meet, Anyway?

Sometimes I wondered why I had so many questions.  It seemed that when I settled one question in my heart, another would just rise up.  But I have learned that questions are not necessarily a bad thing.  I am not talking about the kind of question that Satan spoke through the serpent in the garden when he said:  Yea, hath God said?  Through that question he brought in doubt, temptation, and finally disobedience and sin (Genesis 3).

The kind of question that can produce amazingly good results is the questioning heart that desires to understand truth – the one that seeks to understand what God is really saying in His Word and how that applies to the individual’s life.

And, for the question to result in goodness, the seeking person absolutely must go to the right place to find the answer. The Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit inspired the holy men of old to speak, and thus, write the Scriptures (2 Peter 1:20-21).  The Bible also teaches that it is the Holy Spirit who teaches us and guides us into all truth (John 14:26, 16:13).  Isn’t it incredible that the same One who authored the Word and fully understands its meaning is the same One Who will teach us!

So, here was my question:  What is a help meet, anyway?  Back to Genesis and into the Scriptures I went.  First, I discovered what a help meet is not!  The kind of help that God had designed the woman to be was not a negative thing. When God finished all of His Creation, as He looked at His completed work, He saw that it was very good (Genesis 1:31).  So then, woman being a help for her husband was a part of this very good thing.

Next, I found that this relationship, with the woman as a help to her husband, was perfect and wonderful!  You may raise an eyebrow at that statement in disbelief, but let me explain why it had to be perfect. This relationship was the way that God Himself had designed it, and the woman was called a help BEFORE the fall.  Perfect God, perfect Creation, perfect relationships!  It may take some time thinking upon this truth to get a grasp of it, but for the woman to be a help to the man had to be amazingly good – not one negative thing about it – all goodness!

It was then that I knew I did not understand much of anything about God’s intentions and God’s ways. I also knew the way that the world (and my own flesh) reacts to this truth had been because of not having the right view.  But, I really wanted to understand the right view – God’s view!

I knew that spiritual understanding could only come, by the Spirit, through the Scriptures, so I continued to dig. I got out some concordances to find where this word help could be found in the Scriptures, in what context it was used, and what was the meaning in those passages.  I was so surprised at what I found!  The word help was most often used when God was speaking of Himself. These were just a few of the passages I found:

Psalm 115: 9-11 refers three times to:  the Lord, He is our help.  

Psalm 33:20 speaks of:  … the Lord: He is our help …

Psalm 124 explains that:   .. the Lord who was on our side is our help.

God had used this word help to describe Himself. This word did not carry the meaning of a wimpy, subservient helper. This word portrayed a strong help – someone who was on their side!

Then as I looked up the word meet, I found that the word was actually part of the phrase meet for him.  It was used in a variety of ways, but commonly meant in the presence of; to stand before; to correspond to. Things were beginning to make more sense. The woman was going to live with the man, in his presence.

God Himself walked with the man, as He was in perfect fellowship with him in the garden. But God was creating another person, of flesh and bone, to be with the man.  Then I recalled that it was the aloneness of man that was not good.   It is not good that the man should be alone. And in response to the aloneness, God had created the woman as a help – meet for him.

Oh, and then another question!  The word help was actually the noun that the Scriptures used to name the woman. I wondered what other nouns were used in the Scriptures to name the wife.  Well, we had this word: help. And then, we had numerous uses of wife and woman.  Those two were understandable. Were there any others?  I searched and searched.  And then, I found it! In all of the Bible, there was only one other noun that I found used to describe a wife.  In Malachi 2:14, God called the wife a companion.  A companion … A companion … A companion!  When I thought of that word placed in the setting of Genesis, I understood!  God was not making the woman in a negative, slavish role as the world would portray.  He was addressing the aloneness of the man.  He was making a companion for the man – a special, beautiful, wonderful, very good creation from God – a companion to walk alongside him, to be with him, to be a strong help to him, to be on his side.

I knew I had lots to pray about. But God had taken all that I had studied and woven those truths into two simple words: help and companion.  I now understood more clearly my calling:  Be a help and companion to David.  I knew that I didn’t know all that this meant, but I definitely knew that I would need to spend much more time with him.  My life would need to be much more about him and much less about me.

I could see that many changes were on the horizon.  But interestingly, they didn’t look like storm clouds.  On the contrary, it was as if a beautiful sunrise was dawning.  As strange as it seemed, something inside me found goodness in this answer. Yes, sometimes questions produce such unexpectedly amazing answers!

It Is Not Good

I returned to my kitchen table, the place where I so often studied, with a question on my mind. I was trying to determine why the Creation account of Genesis was so important. In so many passages in the Bible, when discussing women and marriage, that is the truth that was referenced. So as the question pressed on my mind, I bowed my head to ask The Lord to show me the truths that I needed to see. I opened my Bible, and began to read.

It always brought awe into my heart to think that God merely spoke and the Creation stood forth. Psalms 33:9 states: For He spake, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast.  What a demonstration that He is the Almighty and All-Wise God!

Now I would continue with my examination of this amazing Creation.  As I read through Genesis, I found a repeated pattern.  God created and then looked upon His Creation and made a declaration as to the goodness of the Creation.

  • Day 1:  And God saw the light, that it was good.
  • Day 2 and 3:  And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called He Seas: and God saw that it was good. And the Earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
  • Day 4:  Speaking of the sun and moon and stars:  And God saw that it was good.
  • Day 5:  Speaking of the  sea creatures and the winged fowl:  And God saw that it was good.
  • Day 6:  Speaking of the animals on the earth:  And God saw that it was good.

Over and over again, God declared that His Creation was good. But for the first time in the Scriptures, God declared that something was not good.

And The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.  Genesis 2:18

There it was – the thing that was not good. It was not good that the man should be alone, and immediately God revealed the solution. He would make a help for the man.

I sat there and pondered the truth.  It is not good for the man to be alone. It is not good for the man to be alone. Then in my mind, my husband’s name was written above that verse. It is not good that “David” should be alone.

Wait! I had one of the most independent and self-sufficient husbands ever! I had even thought, at times, that he could have been one of those mountain men of old. He could have lived alone forever. Wouldn’t have bothered him!

But that wasn’t what the Word of God seemed to be saying.  It is not good that the man should be alone!  There was no indication that the man had realized it was not good, and he certainly had not asked for a help.  No, it was God that said that it was not good for the man to be alone.

I thought some more.  I felt sure that David did not realize that this truth applied to him, but the Word of God was clear – It is not good that the man should be alone!

But that thought was not what impacted me so strongly.  What rang through my heart was:  I will make him a help meet for him!  God was the One who planned for the woman. God was the One who designed the woman. God was the One who created and formed her with one specific purpose in mind – to be a help to that man. The woman was not planned for, designed, nor created by man, but by God Himself.

I could see that being a woman was a special creation – a special creation with a specific purpose.  As surely as the light, the waters, the earth, the plants, the sun, moon, and stars, and all the animals had a purpose, so, too, did the man have a specific purpose, and so, too, did the woman have a specific God-created purpose!

And then, the staggering and startling realization – it was God that had created me to be a woman.  And it was God who had created me to be a help to David. I stopped in the tracks of my mind. God had very individually created me to be a wife to David.  And, at that moment, God called me in a very deep way to give my life to that for which I had been created – to give my life to being a wife to David.

Tears began to flow! How had I missed this?  Yes,  David and I lived in a compatible relationship, but this call was so much more.  My life had been so much about me, and, at times, even about ME being a good wife.  But this was about God! This was about David! I had to get my eyes off of me! I had to look at David in a whole new way!  God had created me especially for my husband!

Humbled, and with tears, I knew God would have to teach me. Truly, His ways are so much higher than mine!  Teach me, Lord. That is all I knew to say!  I had started out with a question, but how personal had been the answer.