So, What Is a Help Meet, Anyway?

Sometimes I wondered why I had so many questions.  It seemed that when I settled one question in my heart, another would just rise up.  But I have learned that questions are not necessarily a bad thing.  I am not talking about the kind of question that Satan spoke through the serpent in the garden when he said:  Yea, hath God said?  Through that question he brought in doubt, temptation, and finally disobedience and sin (Genesis 3).

The kind of question that can produce amazingly good results is the questioning heart that desires to understand truth – the one that seeks to understand what God is really saying in His Word and how that applies to the individual’s life.

And, for the question to result in goodness, the seeking person absolutely must go to the right place to find the answer. The Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit inspired the holy men of old to speak, and thus, write the Scriptures (2 Peter 1:20-21).  The Bible also teaches that it is the Holy Spirit who teaches us and guides us into all truth (John 14:26, 16:13).  Isn’t it incredible that the same One who authored the Word and fully understands its meaning is the same One Who will teach us!

So, here was my question:  What is a help meet, anyway?  Back to Genesis and into the Scriptures I went.  First, I discovered what a help meet is not!  The kind of help that God had designed the woman to be was not a negative thing. When God finished all of His Creation, as He looked at His completed work, He saw that it was very good (Genesis 1:31).  So then, woman being a help for her husband was a part of this very good thing.

Next, I found that this relationship, with the woman as a help to her husband, was perfect and wonderful!  You may raise an eyebrow at that statement in disbelief, but let me explain why it had to be perfect. This relationship was the way that God Himself had designed it, and the woman was called a help BEFORE the fall.  Perfect God, perfect Creation, perfect relationships!  It may take some time thinking upon this truth to get a grasp of it, but for the woman to be a help to the man had to be amazingly good – not one negative thing about it – all goodness!

It was then that I knew I did not understand much of anything about God’s intentions and God’s ways. I also knew the way that the world (and my own flesh) reacts to this truth had been because of not having the right view.  But, I really wanted to understand the right view – God’s view!

I knew that spiritual understanding could only come, by the Spirit, through the Scriptures, so I continued to dig. I got out some concordances to find where this word help could be found in the Scriptures, in what context it was used, and what was the meaning in those passages.  I was so surprised at what I found!  The word help was most often used when God was speaking of Himself. These were just a few of the passages I found:

Psalm 115: 9-11 refers three times to:  the Lord, He is our help.  

Psalm 33:20 speaks of:  … the Lord: He is our help …

Psalm 124 explains that:   .. the Lord who was on our side is our help.

God had used this word help to describe Himself. This word did not carry the meaning of a wimpy, subservient helper. This word portrayed a strong help – someone who was on their side!

Then as I looked up the word meet, I found that the word was actually part of the phrase meet for him.  It was used in a variety of ways, but commonly meant in the presence of; to stand before; to correspond to. Things were beginning to make more sense. The woman was going to live with the man, in his presence.

God Himself walked with the man, as He was in perfect fellowship with him in the garden. But God was creating another person, of flesh and bone, to be with the man.  Then I recalled that it was the aloneness of man that was not good.   It is not good that the man should be alone. And in response to the aloneness, God had created the woman as a help – meet for him.

Oh, and then another question!  The word help was actually the noun that the Scriptures used to name the woman. I wondered what other nouns were used in the Scriptures to name the wife.  Well, we had this word: help. And then, we had numerous uses of wife and woman.  Those two were understandable. Were there any others?  I searched and searched.  And then, I found it! In all of the Bible, there was only one other noun that I found used to describe a wife.  In Malachi 2:14, God called the wife a companion.  A companion … A companion … A companion!  When I thought of that word placed in the setting of Genesis, I understood!  God was not making the woman in a negative, slavish role as the world would portray.  He was addressing the aloneness of the man.  He was making a companion for the man – a special, beautiful, wonderful, very good creation from God – a companion to walk alongside him, to be with him, to be a strong help to him, to be on his side.

I knew I had lots to pray about. But God had taken all that I had studied and woven those truths into two simple words: help and companion.  I now understood more clearly my calling:  Be a help and companion to David.  I knew that I didn’t know all that this meant, but I definitely knew that I would need to spend much more time with him.  My life would need to be much more about him and much less about me.

I could see that many changes were on the horizon.  But interestingly, they didn’t look like storm clouds.  On the contrary, it was as if a beautiful sunrise was dawning.  As strange as it seemed, something inside me found goodness in this answer. Yes, sometimes questions produce such unexpectedly amazing answers!

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