Have you ever taken time to just meditate on a single verse of Scripture?  One morning, as I sat giving thought to a scripture, the Lord spoke so clearly to my heart.  A simple sequence of questions and answers brought my thoughts – and heart – to a very special place.

I had been studying the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31, with whom we are so familiar.  I was reminded that the word virtuous meant strong. The virtuous woman is a strong woman, a woman that is strong in The Lord. But my thoughts were then taken to another verse:

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:

but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 12:4

I have to admit that I didn’t really understand the significance of the verse.  As I prayed, I asked The Lord to help me better understand.  Then, as I continued to think on the verse these questions – and answers – flooded my mind:

What is the result of being a strong woman?  …   She becomes a crown to her husband.

What was the purpose of a crown?   …   To exalt one to a position of honor.

What was true of the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman?   …   Her husband was known in the gates.

I could see that this verse was saying that a strong wife would exalt her husband.  I knew that it takes humility to exalt another above oneself, but I could feel The Lord calling me to do exactly that.  I was to exalt my husband to the position for which The Lord had created him. As I pondered the implications of this truth, my attention was drawn to the contrasting wife.

How was the wife described who is the opposite of this virtuous wife?   …  She makes ashamed and is as rottenness in his bones.

What does it mean to make ashamed?   …  Webster’s Dictionary defines it as: bringing reproach; degrading a person in the estimation of others

Did I exalt my husband or did I degrade him?

And what happened if I degraded him?   …   I would be as rottenness in his bones.

What does rottenness do?   …   It causes slow, often unseen decay.

Where does this rottenness occur?   …   In his bones.

What is the purpose of bones to our body?   …   Unseen strength and support.

What was the woman made from?   …  From the bone of the man.

Could it be that the wife is to be strength and support to her husband as she exalts him rather than a cause of inner decay within him?

I knew that the Lord Himself is to be a man’s source of strength, but I could also recall that The Lord made the wife especially as a help for him.

I could see that by my actions and by my words, I would either exalt and honor my husband or I would inwardly destroy him.  By what I said to him and about him, I would either build him up or tear him down.

Then I remembered that virtuous woman of Proverbs 31.  The heart of her husband had confidence in her because she did him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.

I thought some more.  I actually could be a crown to my husband.  I knew I would need the Lord’s help.  But somewhere in my heart, I simply heard:  You can be a crown!

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:  but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.          Proverbs 12:4