What do you suppose you would find if you looked inside your husband’s heart – not in his physical heart, but in his spiritual heart? You may immediately think of numerous answers to that question – some of those things perhaps very good and other things perhaps not so good. But the matter of consideration for the wife is what is in her husband’s heart concerning her.
You may think that it is impossible to know what is in someone’s heart – but not so! The Scriptures teach that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh (Matthew 12:34). It is by listening – truly listening – to what our husbands say that we can actually know what is in their hearts.
The Proverbs 31 wife is a wonderful example to all Christian wives: The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. What kind of trust does this husband have for his wife? And what is it that causes this type of trust to develop?
Understanding the meaning of the phrase safely trust will prove helpful. This phrase is actually one word in the Hebrew, but was translated as two words in English to emphasize the level of trust that this husband feels toward his wife.
Safely trusts means: to attach oneself to; to be confident in; to be secure in. The basic meaning is: to rely upon. This Proverbs 31 wife is indeed trustworthy.
It is important to note that this level of trust does not happen instantaneously. It is a firm, solid trust that develops over time, as the wife has proved constant in her attitudes and actions toward the husband. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:12). She is there faithfully being a help meet for her husband (Genesis 2:18). It is through this constant companionship and support that a deep level of trust develops day by day by day. No matter what the husband may have to face in the world or who may prove untrustworthy in his day-to-day interactions, the wife is there by his side, though often unseen, giving silent support. And the husband knows that he can trust in her. He knows that he can rely upon her. He knows that he can count on her.
What of the husband who lacks this type of trust in his wife? Though the reasons are varied, perhaps the most common reason is that there is no consistency in her relationship to her husband. The husband may not know from day to day, or even from minute to minute, what his wife’s attitudes or actions may be. As he comes home from work, he is never sure of what will greet him upon his arrival. Because of the uncertainty, he lacks a confident reliance upon her.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. Did you know that it is impossible to change someone’s heart? But for the wife who desires to build a deeper level of trust in her husband’s heart, there is a sure way. The Word of God gives clear instruction for the Christian wife, and as the wife walks more and more consistently in the truths of the Word of God, an amazing thing happens. Safe trust in her grows in her husband’s heart. And even more amazingly, as the husband sees Who it is that gives her such stability, he will often realize just how trustworthy her Lord is!
What are those truths given directly to the Christian wife? She is to love her husband (Titus 2:4), she is to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33), and she is to subject herself unto her husband (Ephesians 5:24). Without fail, these truths, as they are lived out in the wife’s life by the power of the Spirit of God, will foster an incredible trust in the heart of a husband. God is faithful, and He works through His Word!
Does your husband’s heart safely trust in you? Can he count on you for companionship? Can he trust that you will be a help to him? Does he know that each and every day you will do him good and not evil? Does he know that you are his greatest supporter? Can he consistently sense your respect for him in the things that you do for him and in the things that you say to and about him? Does he know that you will follow his leadership? Is he sure, without a doubt, that you will care for his needs – preparing food and clothing for him? Is he certain that you will faithfully care for the children? Does he know that you are thankful for the home that he has provided and that you will keep it carefully? Can he trust that when he reaches out to you for intimacy that you will respond positively to his need? Can he rely upon you to spend money wisely? The questions are many. Take them before the Lord in prayer. Allow Him to bring to your remembrance the truth of His Word, along with comments that your husband has made. Allow Him to show your husband’s heart to you by the things that he has said. Then listen carefully as the Spirit of God applies truth to your life.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. Why? Because she does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
May it be said of you, as of Ruth of old:
For all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.
The above article was first printed in Dawning Light © 2004.